I'll let you make your way to The Onion yourself and peruse the articles. I won't even link to the titles below, because the point I feel like making is how funny they are standing alone. These made me guffaw.

Heroic Computer Dies to Save World From Master's Thesis
Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are
Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Prodution of "Equus"
Dog Experiences Best Day Of His Life for 400th Consecutive Day

Science & Technology
Rogue Scientist Has Own Scientific Method
Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
National Science Foundation: Science Hard

Surgeon General Issues Report on Dangers of Secondhand Fire

Bill of Rights Pared Down to a Manageable Six

Scholars Discover 23 Blank Pages That May As Well Be Lost Samuel Beckett Play

Health-Club Employee Stops Going to Work After Two Weeks

Voices in Man's Head Make Great Point About Time Management
Area Man an Expert on What Women Hate